I consider myself to be a very nice guy. Sometimes I’m a push over of sorts. But I love the reaction that I get from giving people gifts. It’s just me. But sometimes people take that kindness a pushes it off a cliff. A neighbor of mine, Trisha, is that person for me. Some of the things that she does are so unbelievable, as you’ll see. I think of her as, Miss “Are You For Real”?

We’ve argued about a lot. I feel that Trisha takes her frustrations about her kid on me. I don’t know why I’m the lucky victim, but I’m definitely not one to just sit around and take it. I don’t even consider us friends enough for to feel as if she could approach me in that way, which I’ve explained to her before. But I’ll be nice to her kid because he doesn’t have anything to do with her mouth. We’ve argued about her kid standing in front of my house for an hour in the winter, and he was already sick. I told her that it’s not my responsibility to monitor where her kid is at or where he is waiting, especially if he has a cell phone and I have a house phone that the kids answer. Also, if I told my kids to do something, which I told them to clean their room before they go outside, then that supersedes anything they are going to do with your son. They told him that they were cleaning up. But she felt she needed to tell me I wasn’t talking to my kids and having her kid to wait. Miss, Are You for real?

One time Trisha told me that she wasn’t going to pick up my kids from the same practice her kid was at because I wouldn’t agree to a set time for us to pick up the kids. I said no and I explained to her that there were plenty of times during past few practices where I had to pick up the kids during the times where pick-up was on her schedule. Plus, my schedule wasn’t very clear and I needed the flexibility of us coordinating the times on a weekly basis, which was working. But she was pissed and I saw her pick her kid up while my kids were getting in the car. During the next scheduled time for me to pick up the kids I had to pick up her kid too because she was at work. Miss, are You for real? 

Apparent to say, I don’t have fond feelings for Trisha. And I really cut the amount of conversation I give her. I felt like I let her know she’s on my short list of, “please leave me the hell alone”.  I didn’t talk to her much after camp was over. Just stuff pertaining to the kids and what they were doing. A few months after the camp was over I looked at the caller ID on my cell. When I saw Trisha appear I thought to myself that I shouldn’t deserve a call from her right now. I didn’t do anything with her kid and my kids are right here in the house with me. What could she possibly need from me. She told me that she had to talk about something in 15 minutes. I agreed and as I hung up the phone I felt like a war was coming on. I had on my suit of armor. 

Trisha came over and started some small talk about the kids. I just had to stop her and ask what she needed to talk about. She started to explain that she needed a co-signer for an apartment she wanted to move in. Miss, are you for Real? While she was explaining that times are hard and she’s working on getting her credit together I’m thinking to myself, “Is this bitch for real?” In my eyes it’s like the Devil asking Jesus to partner with him on creating a new General Motors. Off the wall stuff! 

Before she could finish, I stopped and explained to her that I’m currently paying on a $5,000 student loan I co-signed years ago to help my sister. I’m done with co-signing. So, if that’s what she’s asking for then I’m not the one she should ask. Let’s cut this short so I can get you out of my house. When I closed the front door behind her I just burst out laughing. What in the hell was that. All I could thing about was: Miss, Are You For Real?